


The Princess

by TheAndorianMiningConsortium



Category: Star Trek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 06:30:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3599820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAndorianMiningConsortium/pseuds/TheAndorianMiningConsortium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(This is mostly just Chekov and Sulu).</p><p>I’m always kind of torn between “the crew are always totally professional all the time because they’re so well trained” and “yeah they probably slack off and talk about stupid things whenever the captain turns their back for a few seconds, I mean the amount of time they sit there doing nothing while they’re travelling to/from a planet or waiting for hours for a special thing to happen, they probably get reeeeally bored and end up messing about or talking about dumb shit.” This is the latter of those two options.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Princess

"...and Mr. Chekov," said Kirk, coming to the end of his short speech. "Plot a course for that planet."

At the navigation console, Chekov didn't reply, or give any sign of having heard Kirk's order at all. In fact, he looked like he was thinking of anything _but_ navigation. His eyes were misty, and he had a faraway look about him, as though his mind was somewhere many, many lightyears away.

Sulu gave him a sharp, but subtle nudge, and he blinked and looked surprised. "Uh, yes Sir!" Chekov cried, a bit too abruptly. "I'm doing it now, Sir!" He glanced at Sulu with a look of mild alarm, and mouthed the words: _what did he say?_

"Very good, Mr. Chekov. I'll be in Sickbay," Kirk went on. "Attending to our guests. Uhura, you have the bridge." And with that he strode out, apparently not noticing his navigation officer's total lapse of attention.

"Must be really something," Sulu muttered as soon as the telltale whoosh of the doors told him that Kirk had gone. Pressing a few buttons, he called up the information that Chekov had missed, and Chekov, glancing at the helmsman's screen, hastened to plot it in. As he did so, his brow furrowed into a little scowl.

" _Who's_ really something?" he asked, accusation obvious in his tone, despite the fact that they were barely speaking above a whisper. His accent may have been heavy, but that didn't stop his words – and his indignation – from being totally clear.

"Whoever you were daydreaming about," Sulu replied with an easy half-laugh.

"I wasn't thinking about anybody! I was just... thinking."

 _Oh, please. Spare me._ "Right," Sulu said aloud, making it absolutely clear that he did not believe Chekov one iota. "And Satan builds snowmen on his days off."

"What's  _that_ supposed to mean?" Chekov asked, but even as he said it, he knew that he was defeated. He sighed and sat back in his chair for a few moments, lapsing into silence.

"Alright," Chekov said at last. "Maybe I  _was_ thinking of someone."

"...Oh?" Not even pretending to be surprised, Sulu gave his friend a mischievous sidelong look.  _Go on_ .

"It's not like that," Chekov replied grumpily.

"He or she?"

"Nnn."

"Alright, human or non human?"

Chekov bit his lip and furrowed his brow. "Mind your own business!"

"Fine!" Raising both hands in an  _I submit_ gesture as he pretended to give up, Sulu sat back and looked away, allowing a few moments to pass in silence.

Finally Sulu spoke up again. "I'll bet it's that Yeoman Faust... the dark haired one with the extra-round bottom?"

Chekov's scowl deepened. "It's not Yeoman Faust." He paused and scowled a little more. "And I haven't even noticed her bottom."

With a sigh and a shrug, Sulu decided to let it be. Obviously Chekov didn't want to talk about it, and pressing him would only upset him further. He turned back to the console in front of him and studied the stars for a while.

After ten minutes or so, Chekov broke the silence once more. "You remember that planet?"

_That planet._ It was all that Sulu could do to keep from rolling his eyes. "Which planet?"

"You know. That planet we went to."

"How am I supposed to know which planet you're talking about?"

"The Denobulan science colony. You remember?"

"Oh. _That_ planet." Sulu had spent most of his time examining the equipment there, whilst Chekov had gallivanted about doing God knows what whilst he mingled with the Denobulans.

"Well, while I was there, this Denobulan woman... she was a beautiful princess, by the way... she sort of... looked at me."

"She looked at you."

"Yes! She looked at me... in a sort of... fancy sort of way."

"I see."

"Well, these Denobulans, they have this thing... where they have three husbands and three wives... you know about that?"

"Yes. I know about that."

"And... well... I think she was inviting me to be her third husband!"

Sulu almost laughed out loud. Thankfully, he managed to stop any sound from escaping his mouth just in time, but he couldn't stop the hilarity from showing on his face.

"It's not funny!"

"Pavel, Denobulans don't even have princesses. And they  _don't_ propose to you by giving you a funny look. C'mon."

"And then she... well,” Chekov flushed as he recalled his embarrassing experience. “She started taking off her clothes."

_Alright,_ Sulu thought, eyes widening in near disbelief. This was getting more and more ludicrous.

“You're not serious.”

“She took off her scarf!”

“That's not—”

“I think she was going to take off the rest.”

"You don't think she wanted to—”

" _I_ don't know! Perhaps you'd better ask  _her_ ."

"And you're sure this isn't some dream you had?"

Sulu had thought that Chekov's scowl could not possibly get any deeper. He turned out to be wrong. It deepened further still, until it almost looked like his knitted brows were in danger of squashing the rest of his face. "It's no dream," he insisted.

"Sounds more like a nightmare," Sulu replied drily, though the whole thing simultaneously baffled and amused him. He wasn't sure what was more ridiculous – the story itself, or Chekov's retelling of it. "Then again,” he went on, “I guess it depends on what you like. So, what did you do?"

Chekov looked around, clearly surprised by this question. "Well, I ran," he said matter-of-factly, as though this was obvious. "All the way back to the beam in site and then all the way back to the _Enterprise_ ."

"You couldn't have just... told her you're not interested? And let her down gently?" He raised both brows in mock concern. “She  _did_ take off her scarf for you.”

"But I  _was_ interested!" Chekov proclaimed. "That's  _why_ I ran!"

"I thought you were scared."

"Mmmm, maybe a little. I don't want to be a prince."

"So... just to make sure I've got this right," Sulu said, glancing at his screen while he thought it over, and recapped the ludicrous events in his head, "you ran away... as fast as you could?"

"As fast as I could!"

"...Because a Denobulan...  _looked_ at you."

Chekov was silent for a moment, chewing thoughtfully on his bottom lip. "Well, when you put it like that, it sounds sort of stupid."

"I'll say."

Chekov pursed his lips and looked grumpy, but didn't say anything.

"So," said Sulu, "if you were so frightened you ran away... then why that look on your face when you were thinking about her?" Anticipating Chekov's protest, Sulu sailed on, continuing before the ensign had a chance to interject. "A few minutes ago? You were so far away you didn't even hear the captain giving you an order. Looked like you were on cloud nine."

"Oh!" Chekov managed a little grin. "I was just thinking about what might have been. You know." He gave Sulu a thoughtful look. "If I  _did_ marry her, and become a Denobulan prince. I mean, obviously I can't do that. I've got responsibilities here! On  _Enterprise_ !" he said this proudly, and a little ruffled... as though offended by the mere idea that anyone could think anything otherwise. "But sometimes..." he went on, and the dreamy, faraway look reappeared in his eyes. "Sometimes, it's good to dream."

The doors behind them whooshed open, and Captain Kirk came to the bridge. Sulu gave Chekov a little nudge to make sure that he was paying attention this time.

"Lieutenant Uhura," Kirk said, "has the Denobulan Princess hailed us yet?"

Uhura looked up, clearly a little surprised. "Denobulan Princess, Sir? I thought that Denobula didn't have royalty."

Sulu gave Chekov a look that said  _I told you so_ . Chekov responded with a look that said  _shut up_ .

"Actually she's director of a science facility, but she's also an eccentric. She... likes to call herself a princess," Kirk chuckled. "Anyway, she wants to see the  _Enterprise_ and I promised I'd indulge her. I owe her a favour after our last encounter, and there's a lot we can still learn from these people. See to it that the necessary arrangements are made. Unfortunately I'll need to beam down to the planet with Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy so I won't be able to welcome her aboard. Mr Chekov!" he said, rounding on the ensign. "Perhaps  _you'd_ like to do the honours?"

Chekov went white. "I... but... Sir..."

"Is there a problem, Mr. Chekov?"

"Uh... no Sir, but... perhaps... someone else..."

Sulu came to his rescue. "He has bowel trouble today, Sir. He doesn't want to offend the pr- I mean, the director- with his smells."

"Bowel trouble, Mr. Chekov?" Kirk sniffed the air experimentally. "I don't smell any bowel trouble."

"...I've been holding it in Sir." Chekov made a very small, very forced little laugh. "Wouldn't want the whole bridge to pass out from smells!"

"Oh. Very well then, Mr. Sulu, you can do the honours. Chekov... take the rest of the day off. And check into Sickbay."

"Er, yes Sir."

Kirk nodded. "Well, that's that then. Uhura, let me know when we reach the planet." With that he whirled around, and left the bridge once again.

Chekov turned his scowling face on Sulu. "Did you have to say  _bowel trouble_ ?" he hissed.

"It was the only thing I could think of off the top of my head. At least you get the rest of the day off."

"I should fart in your face for this." He scrunched up his fists and glowered with rage, but now a genuine smile crept through. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

"You'd better get ready to meet the princess. Don't let her try to trick you into marrying her! You know, I think she just has a thing for humans."

"I'll keep it in mind," Sulu replied, even though he obviously wouldn't. "And I'll send along your regards." He didn't really mean that... but Chekov was far too easy to tease. He could barely resist.

"No!" but it was too late; Sulu had already left the bridge.

 


End file.
